Guys, if you ever hear a female say to another that she has a nick rack, she’s talking about the vast number of towels she has displayed in an artistic fashion.
Geek on
Deoderat Showers FTW
I have a secret.
Lean in close and I’ll tell you.
I didn’t shower this morning. Can you tell?
Actually I’m really mad at myself. My new year’s resolution this year was to shower everyday before I go to work/class and I made it until today. 3 months and change is pretty good but I was so close.
I used to skip my morning shower all the time. I figured the 20 minutes was better spent sleeping than making myself not smell like cesspool. Some days I loved it. I was like a spy. I had a secret and I couldn’t let anyone get close to me or they’d find out. Most days though without a shower to truly wake me up, I’d just stagger around like some walking corpse: The undead – or, more accurately, the unwashed.
Anyway, today’s the one day a week I can get away with it so it’s ok. I’ll get some brains, I mean soap, working for me later.
Geek on.
Lean in close and I’ll tell you.
I didn’t shower this morning. Can you tell?
Actually I’m really mad at myself. My new year’s resolution this year was to shower everyday before I go to work/class and I made it until today. 3 months and change is pretty good but I was so close.
I used to skip my morning shower all the time. I figured the 20 minutes was better spent sleeping than making myself not smell like cesspool. Some days I loved it. I was like a spy. I had a secret and I couldn’t let anyone get close to me or they’d find out. Most days though without a shower to truly wake me up, I’d just stagger around like some walking corpse: The undead – or, more accurately, the unwashed.
Anyway, today’s the one day a week I can get away with it so it’s ok. I’ll get some brains, I mean soap, working for me later.
Geek on.
Pre-emptive Critic: Music and Lyrics
Peanut butter and jelly. Surf and Turf
Some things just go together. I’m hoping that “Music and Lyrics” and my eyes aren’t one of them.
I don’t like it because it’s a romantic comedy about an odd couple. I hate those. The only good movie about an odd couple was “The Odd Couple.”
Plus there’s just something about Hugh Grant macking on Demi Moore that gives me the heebies with just a touch of jeebies.
After Moore flashed her “music and lyrics” to David Letterman so many years ago, she’s been trying to shake her whore image. Now she’s paired up with Grant who ever since shaking a whore has been trying to save his career.
This combination just doesn’t work for me. It’s like cheese and breakfast cereal, it just doesn’t work.
And if by some weird chance it does, it shouldn’t.
I pre-emptively hate this movie.
Some things just go together. I’m hoping that “Music and Lyrics” and my eyes aren’t one of them.
I don’t like it because it’s a romantic comedy about an odd couple. I hate those. The only good movie about an odd couple was “The Odd Couple.”
Plus there’s just something about Hugh Grant macking on Demi Moore that gives me the heebies with just a touch of jeebies.
After Moore flashed her “music and lyrics” to David Letterman so many years ago, she’s been trying to shake her whore image. Now she’s paired up with Grant who ever since shaking a whore has been trying to save his career.
This combination just doesn’t work for me. It’s like cheese and breakfast cereal, it just doesn’t work.
And if by some weird chance it does, it shouldn’t.
I pre-emptively hate this movie.
Playing Command and Conquer doesn't count I'm afraid
So I'm supposed to be writing a column about the military, but I don't really know that much about the real miltary. All I really know if what my uncle Mike has told me over the years and I'm sure he, being an Air Force man, has a little bais in that direction.
I’ll admit I’m not very familiar with the military that fights today’s wars. I am however really familiar with the military that fought in the conflict known as the Star Wars.
I’ve just been informed I’m not allowed to write a column about how what this country really needs to get out of Iraq is our own Death Star.
Of course, a Death Star is pretty much my answer to every problem.
Professor: Mr. Shinney would you like to turn your final project in?
Me: (brandishing a remote menacingly) Would you like some Death Star to the face?
Professor: You get an A.
Me: (continues to brandish)
Professor: I meant two As. Three. Four As and the naked female class mate of your choosing!
Geek on.
I’ll admit I’m not very familiar with the military that fights today’s wars. I am however really familiar with the military that fought in the conflict known as the Star Wars.
I’ve just been informed I’m not allowed to write a column about how what this country really needs to get out of Iraq is our own Death Star.
Of course, a Death Star is pretty much my answer to every problem.
Professor: Mr. Shinney would you like to turn your final project in?
Me: (brandishing a remote menacingly) Would you like some Death Star to the face?
Professor: You get an A.
Me: (continues to brandish)
Professor: I meant two As. Three. Four As and the naked female class mate of your choosing!
Geek on.
And I read that thing about the lady who died from too much water, now I'm really scared
I’ve said before that I’m terrified of doctors. Not actually doctors in the way that if I say one on the street I would run like a little baby who could run, but going to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor because he (or she in theory but so far all my adult-life doctors have been men) always ask me to do things. Things that are good for me. Which usually mean things that will make me miserable.
Like when the doctor told me not to have dairy for 10, right over Christmas, prime eggnog season. Or the time I had to were wrist bracers that cut the feeling off in my fingers.
This last trip to the doctor, he told me to make sure I drink 64 ounces of water, everyday. 64 ounces! That’s not including any pop, milk or juice I may drink, it has to be pure water. I’ve never peed so much in my life.
And the problem is when I watch TV I discover that I have all the symptoms of bladder issues that they advertise medicines for. So I’m all paranoid that I have something seriously wrong with bladder or my prostate or something else down there in the important region and when they get to the end of the commercial they tell me to talk to me doctor and the whole horrible cycle begins anew.
Geek on.
Like when the doctor told me not to have dairy for 10, right over Christmas, prime eggnog season. Or the time I had to were wrist bracers that cut the feeling off in my fingers.
This last trip to the doctor, he told me to make sure I drink 64 ounces of water, everyday. 64 ounces! That’s not including any pop, milk or juice I may drink, it has to be pure water. I’ve never peed so much in my life.
And the problem is when I watch TV I discover that I have all the symptoms of bladder issues that they advertise medicines for. So I’m all paranoid that I have something seriously wrong with bladder or my prostate or something else down there in the important region and when they get to the end of the commercial they tell me to talk to me doctor and the whole horrible cycle begins anew.
Geek on.
stupid gnome rogue...
Some one stabbed me in the stumach. If I find out it was you, I'm gonna be pissed.
Creepy and now 20% more crawly
Many people think that we are safe here in our little valley, far away from anything that can hurt us. And to a point that’s true, we’re far away from the mummies of Egypt, but we have our own share of creepy crawlies that the rest of the world don’t have to worry about.
For obvious scientific reasons, I divide these into two categories: creepies and crawlies.
There are several things on USU that are flat out creepy. Any of the students who work one of the many “card-swiper” jobs on campus will tell you nothings quite as creepy as when people give them a card that has been in a back pocket so long that it’s taken the exact curvature of the owners butt cheek.
As far as crawlies go, I don’t think there’s anything more crawly in all of Logan than the Box Elder bugs. These little guys are everywhere and beyond the occasional satisfying pop sound, they are completely worthless.
Sometimes when I’m laying on my back trying to sleep, I wonder if anyone has ever filled a box with Box Elder bugs and given it to an LDS missionary.
I hope not.
That would be stupid in, like, six different ways.
For obvious scientific reasons, I divide these into two categories: creepies and crawlies.
There are several things on USU that are flat out creepy. Any of the students who work one of the many “card-swiper” jobs on campus will tell you nothings quite as creepy as when people give them a card that has been in a back pocket so long that it’s taken the exact curvature of the owners butt cheek.
As far as crawlies go, I don’t think there’s anything more crawly in all of Logan than the Box Elder bugs. These little guys are everywhere and beyond the occasional satisfying pop sound, they are completely worthless.
Sometimes when I’m laying on my back trying to sleep, I wonder if anyone has ever filled a box with Box Elder bugs and given it to an LDS missionary.
I hope not.
That would be stupid in, like, six different ways.
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