Stuff I decided not to publish for obvious reasons

Always remember treat dating like a game.

I know a lot of people say they hate the games involved in dating. This is because they always lose.

I like games of any kind. Computer, video, board. If I can win, I will.

Dating is just a game and I won. I’m married. My wife is hot and one year later she still likes me.

That’s worth way more than any about of gold coins.

But if you want to win the dating games there are a few things you should know first. Consider this column your dating strategy guide, or teachers’ edition with the answers in the back.

The first thing you must do to ensure a flawless victory in dating is to understand the nature of the game.

Too many people are convinced that the teams are guys and against girls. No offense but this is about as retarded as the starting lineup of the special Olympics volleyball team.

Dating should never been seen as a contest between a man and a woman. Rather it is a desperate struggle against the demons of dieing alone.