I got poor so I could make money

I'm pretty sure the so called "graduation fee" is just the university's way of saying, "we'll miss your money, give us something to remember it by."

Geek on.

Nothing's coming to mind here either

Things I do when I should be writing The Geek Beat:

Google my one name. Now don’t pretend for one second that you’ve never done this. The only people who haven’t done this have never though of it and they will probably do it the next time they are alone at a computer.

Googling your own name is one of the greatest things to do because it’s an easy way to judge your impact on the world. We can see all the work we’ve done that others can see – if they ever happen to Google our name – and plot ways to get back at the bastards that stole our name.

Geek on.

You whippersnappers

It’s official.

Despite all my efforts to avoid, stop or at least delay it, I’ve become a grown up.

Darn it.

You see, that’s what I’m talking about. I can’t even swear and be all edgy anymore.

When ever I try to curse or use a dirty word, I subconsciously think of the automatically replace it with something like “freak” or “gun” or “tuckus.” If I focus really hard sometime I can still write “poop.’

I realized that I had become a card-carrying adult when I compared my Spring Break activities with those of my younger, singler friends.

Let’s just say no ones going to be online downloading clips from my vacation.

Even compared to my Spring Break last year, this year was responsible, mature and lame.

Last year I went for the ultimate road trip with my roommate. It was the quintessential road trip across the back roads of America. Through it we learn the history of this great nation, a great deal about our selves and that Kansas is a stupid, stupid place.

This year, I helped put new carpet in my friend’s nursery.

Through it I learned that mauve is a kind of pinkish red and that carpet adhesive is really sticky.

I’ve also learned the satisfaction of a job well done.

Or at least, a job done.

Geek on

I've also decided that there should be a minimum age for bikinis

I've decided that fat guys should not use messenger bags for the same reason girl should. The strap tends to do a great job drawing attention to the … hmmm … lets just say the zoomazooms.

Geek on.

I didn't die

I’ve always known that I’d die either in a hailstorm of bullets or in the first round of a single elimination, to-the-death martial arts tournament.

I’m OK with these fates. With the first at least I’ll be taking several officers of the peace with me. In the latter my death will inspire my childhood best friend to fight on to victory to avenge me.

Although I a little confused why my best friend would be fighting in the same single elimination, to-the-death martial arts tournament as me.

Also, is there such thing as a double elimination, to-the-death martial arts tournament? If not there should be. I’d watch that movie.

Geek on

Read this or die!

I’m scared. I’m scared that I might forget to vote and I will die.

What’s the deal with threatening people with their life for every little thing that we happen to feel passionate about? Is that the only way we can make someone else care about what we care about?

All it does is leave me in a panic. If I don’t vote, I’ll die. If I don’t recycle, I’ll die. If I don’t skate, I’ll die. If I don’t stop stalking Jessica Alba, I’ll die. If I don’t drink enough water, I’ll die.

I wouldn’t be so worried if I knew I’d come back as a ghost with awesome powers, but I have no such assurance. I’ll just try to keep one step ahead of my assassins.

Geek on … Or die!