My first online confession

After burning my infinitith batch of spegetti while messing around on my computer, I may have to admit that I'm not so good a multi-tasking. This is hard for me to say since, as a geek, multitasking is a huge part of my life and has been ever since that fateful day in 6th grade when I discovered I could pee in the shower.

I'll keep working on it though. Send me some tips or something.

And don't forget to geek on.

I almost drank green milk

I just realized another reason every one should watch Chinese movies and TV shows. They make American shows way more suspenseful. In American entertainment we take for granted that the main character will survive. Not so in Chinese. They'll kill anyone. If you fill your mind with enough bad guys winning in the end, it makes evertything you watch more dramatic.

Geek on.

Coke Question

Why would anyone want to buy the world a Coke?

It's too jittery as it is.

Geek on.

More thoughts on Star Wars

A common large concern that a lot of die-hard fans have against Episode 3 is the cheesy dialouge that takes place between Anakin and Padme. I thought it was lame and bad when I watched the movie. They laid the shmultz on each over pretty thick. As usually when people talk in movies, I couldn't wait for the next explosion.

Lately, as I've been preparing for my up coming wedding, I've found myself spending a lot of time with my girlfriend. During these times I've noticed our conversations are super lame.

This leads me to believe that this people complaining about the dialouge are tradtional Star Wars geeks who have never had a girlfriend and don't understand that even if you're the chosen one of the Jedi Order, once you're in love, you're a moron.

Star Wars III is awesome. Just deal with in.

And then geek on.

Retiring from hero work

Much to everyone who knows me great relief, I'll no longer wear tights in my spare time.

The chaffing was unbarable.

I've canceled my subscription to City of Heroes, the hugely popular superhero based MMORPG. It was the first such game I'd ever really played and I really enjoyed it, I'm just too busy to justify the cost.

I was impressed by the game though and would recomended it to any one who wished they had a secret identity. Go there and act out the fantasies you thought you had to leave on the monkey bars in grade school.

Geek on.

Why the Dark Side would have easier recruitment sessions

I've been thinking about Star Wars a lot recently. This isn't all that unusual considering I often think about Star Wars quite often. It's one of those worlds that I retreat to when I'd rather not be where I am at the time. As a child I learned that the real world sucks but in my imagination I can live in worlds that better meet my requirements for magic systems and orc populations. Star Wars is on of the many worlds in which hide the the mundaneness that is my life.

So anyway, as I was saying, I was thinking about Star Wars and I realized the true appeal of the Dark Side. It not about power, or money or not having to follow a bunch of stupid rules or any of that, its not even about being able to love. It's about the names.

Think about it. The Dark Side has way better titles. If you fight on the side of truth and right, you start out as a youngling, a youngling. In a universe full of bad names, that's gotta be the worse one. After that you become a padawan. Not as stupid as a youngling, but still hard to spell and not something people understand very well. Finally, after all this work, you get promoted to the rank of Knight and out of the ranks that suck. After a life of battles and training, you finally become a Jedi Master and can get some decent name cards printed up.

On the Dark Side however, as soon as you sign up, you're a Lord. No questions asked. That's a lot sweeter than a Knight or even a Master. Chicks dig titles of power, and what has more power than Lord? Nothing that's what. Follow is up with a cool name like Vader or Maul and there's nothing you can't do with the title of Lord.

“Hey Jimmy, wanna be a Jedi with me? If we train for twenty years we could even be Knights.”

“No thanks, I'm already a Lord.”


“The Dark Side.”


Yeah, I'm sure that's a pretty common conversation in the Star Wars universe.

Geek on.

Two points

Point One: My roommate was send this song a couple of days ago and I've been totally geeking out to ever since. I'll warn you that this is high level geekdom. It's about sort of about complex math but, atleast in my mind, more about how when you get higher in math you just learn more complex ways to describe simple concepts. Its called A Simple Finite Set (of Order Two) by the Klein Four Group. Enjoy it and take a look at their site, they have other good songs but this is the best.

Point Two: Don't argue in the elevator. This should be obvious but some people don't get it. Today at work I was forced into the awkwardest situation I've been in recently. I was waiting for the elevator and I heard a couple arguing around the corner getting closer. I figured as soon as they got close enough to see me, they stop. They didn't, they just kept fighting, even after we were all on the elevator together. I had to get off on an eariler floor, just for the sake of my sanity.

That's it, I'm out.

Geek on.

Fantastic Four was well...not bad.

Well, I'm feeling better. Still coughing like a banshee, but that's okay.

Um, I really have no desire to write a full review of the Fantastic Four. I'll just say that I liked it. It wasn't the best superhero movie ever, but it didn't blow any goats.

I was really looking forward to seeing the movie until I saw Batman Begins. Ever since I saw that masterpiece 0f cinema, I was worried that there couldn't possibly be another good comic movie this summer.

The more I waited though, I started to think about it I relized there was a hope. This hope was that they would go for an entirely different purpose. This is exactly what happened. Batman rocks because it reminds us that comic books are a great way to tell indepth and intense story as well as developing better characters than other artforms. Fantastic Four reminds us that reading comics is fun.

That's the word I'd use describe the movie, fun. It's a fun movie. It has a lot of obvious jokes and some more that I wished I'd thought of myself. It's not about deep emotional heroes who use their gifts to make amends to the world, it's about a man who uses his powers to get paper when he's stranded on the toilet.

Go see it. You'll have fun.

Geek on. (I remembered it this time)

Reaction to Roger Ebert's Fantastic Four Review

OK, so Roger Ebert, of Ebert and Roper, just really pissed me off. Not only did he hate the Fantastic Four but his gave the lamest reasons ever for feeling so.

First of he called the four second tier superheroes. They were the first superhero team. They are reserved in their world. While the rest of the heroes need to hide behind masks and secret identities, the FF face the world uncovered. They are celebrities and national heroes.

So if this wasn't enough to prove Ebert didn't know what he was talking about he than proceeded to blow me away with his unknowledge (I know it's not a word) of comic books by comparing the Four to other heroes we've already seen.

He compared The Human Torch to the Flash, who hasn't even had a movie recently. Because, you know, fire and going really fast are so close.

The Thing was likened unto Swamp Thing. This one I will give to Ebert, they are both bald, strong and have Thing in their name. That's something, I'll concede that, it's a stupid something, but something nonetheless.

He had the balls to claim Mr. Fantastic was a knock off of the Incredibles. I will stand aside and let all those who know what I'm talking about speak on this issue.

Finally, and most absurd, he said that The Invisible Woman (or girl as she was refered to in the movie) was just like Storm. Storm. Let me say this again, Storm. Storm has the power to control weather. The Invisible Woman can turn, surprisingly enough, invisible and shoot force fields. While I've never understood how those too powers are related, if Mr. Ebert can see how the coincide with weather, he most have had some freaky high pressure fronts where he grew up.

Bare in mind here I'm not saying that Mr. Ebert or anyone has to be an expert in comic books to be a movie critic. But be honest. Don't try to come across like you know a lot about a topic that some one as feeble in knowledge as myself can rant about so easily. Just say you didn't like it. If you have to admit you didn't get it, that's fine too, you're entitled to you opinions and can not like a movie for what ever reason you want.

I for one, really enjoyed the movie as did the twelve or so other people that went with it. I'll give a full review better when I'm no longer suffering from this killer cough that has descended upon me.

Chinese Medicine

I'm sick. Not super sick but sick enough that I'm pretty miserable. I can't imagine why, I only spend my days up to my elbows in medical waste.

Anyways, my wonderful Chinese girlfriend came over to take care of me. She used tradional Chinese medicine which means soup. She pumped so much soup into me I can't stop peeing. I'm pretty sure the whole base of Chinese medicine revolves around the concept of peeing the germs out.

It worked last time I was sick so I'm not going to knock it.

Now I need to pee than I'm going to bed.

Thoughts on Swearing, part 1

Living in Utah as I do, you hear a lot of substitutes for common swears. A large percentage of people here, including myself, are taught that swearing that is bad or at least lame.

Most people still feel the need to use other words to fill in the void left in our life by not swearing. Basic fillers are used by the wide majority of people here and everybody knows them. Thanks to Napoleon Dynamite, you probably know them too.

As for me, I try to go beyond the norm and create new swears. My current one is “Crackers in my hat!” I got it from a friend who came up with it one day when he spilt crackers into his hat.

A common swear replacement that non creative folk use way too much in my opinion. Freakin' A.

Freakin' A. Let's think about this for a second. I've known some amazing swearers in my time, people who could, and would, string so many swears together that it becomes a language of their own. Never once have I heard one of these people use the combination that “freakin' A” stands for. When they, the swearers enter into a situation that would cause a non-swearer to say “Freakin' A” they too say “Freakin' A.”

Weird huh?