Playing Command and Conquer doesn't count I'm afraid

So I'm supposed to be writing a column about the military, but I don't really know that much about the real miltary. All I really know if what my uncle Mike has told me over the years and I'm sure he, being an Air Force man, has a little bais in that direction.

I’ll admit I’m not very familiar with the military that fights today’s wars. I am however really familiar with the military that fought in the conflict known as the Star Wars.

I’ve just been informed I’m not allowed to write a column about how what this country really needs to get out of Iraq is our own Death Star.

Of course, a Death Star is pretty much my answer to every problem.

Professor: Mr. Shinney would you like to turn your final project in?

Me: (brandishing a remote menacingly) Would you like some Death Star to the face?

Professor: You get an A.

Me: (continues to brandish)

Professor: I meant two As. Three. Four As and the naked female class mate of your choosing!

Geek on.