Cryptic Facebook Status Explained

So I was trying to light the barbeque the other day, but without a lighter or matches. No problem, I thought to myself. I'm an Eagle Scout I should have no problem summoning fire using the skills I learned from the scouting program.

20 minutes later I realized that cooking chili in the can and getting into a fight playing basketball wouldn't help me here.

Thinking further back in my childhood, I remembered a time that I did an “experiment” in my parents kitchen by sticky construction paper into the toaster.
I don't know what seven-year-old me was trying to learn, but I remember what I got. Yelled at. And fire.

So I knew that my toaster made, besides delicious toast, fire. But I needed a way to get the fire to the grill.

I did manage to find some birthday candles. I don't know why we had birthday candle, I don't think I've ever gotten a birthday cake since I've been married. But this was not the time for bitterness, now was the time for clever solutions.

I figured a birthday candle would be the perfect way to transfer fire from something hot, like the toaster, to the grill. So I

About half way into this, a thought entered my head. Maybe this isn't such a great idea, I mean this is totally how an episode of Rescue 911 would start.

But then I remembered they don't make that show anymore, so I kept going.

In the end I failed to start a fire of any kind. I don't know if modern technology is made to made the potential everyday occurrence of jamming a birthday candle in the toaster less dangerous, or if I'm just really bad at everything I do but the end result was the same, my wife won't let me cook when I'm home alone anymore.


Thaddeus said...

Heloise sez: If you have a grape, you can slice it almost in half and put it in the microwave for a few seconds. It will spark and shoot out flames. Just stick your birthday cake candle in there with it.

Steve said...

Mad science at its finest, I'll have to remember that the next time I have grapes.

Anonymous said...

hey. I've done that with carrots. Must try the grape version.

Brooke said...

I LOVE making fireballs out of grapes!! You definitely need to give that a try. CD's are fun, too but not so great for the microwave.

Never, EVER try tin foil, however. That's just not safe.

And tell your wife thanks for the advice on Elle's!