I'll Eat Something With a Face, So Long as it's Not Smiling at the Time

Because I have a mental problem that prevents me from not buying something that's really cheap and I never pass up the opportunity to eat like a five year old, I recent purchased a whole bunch of goldfish crackers.

It's been a while since I've eaten goldfish crackers. I don't know why, I love pretty much all food that comes in the shape of a fish: goldfish crackers, Swedish fish, actual fish.

Well whatever the reason for the long separation, it over and me and one of my favorite childhood treats are back together again.

I was looking at a back for goldfish crackers for probably the first time since I learned how to read, and I noticed that they have a mascot now. A whole school of mascots actually.

Now on the side of every small bag of goldfish crackers are four goldfish crackers with eyes and a mouth.

I'm all for my snack foods having cute cartoon mascots. There's a part of me that gets a perverse thrill from the thought of a tree full of little, well-dressed elves who's sole purpose in life is to bake me delicious cookies. There's just something creepy about the lovable, happy character that's suppose to make me want to each a particular snack food being one of those particular snack foods.

It's kinda like how I've always had a problem with Mayor McCheese trying to sell me his head.

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