I'm hoping for the second kind

I saw a sea monster yesterday.

I'm not really sure if it was one of the cool kinds with the lots of arms, the horns and the teeth and the ship wrecking powers like the Kraken or if it was the really cool kind with the tits and the boobs and the seashell bikini like a mermaid, but it was definitely a sea monster.

It was on my flight home from LA.

Even though the flight from LA to SLC requires passing over absolutely zero water, the plane made a small detour over the ocean. I think they were kinda hoping we would crash there. They seemed really proud of the fact that their seats could be used a a flotation device (all thought I would have felt a lot safer if the seats could be used as a parachute).

I saw something big in the water. I don't know what it was, but my world needs more magic. There fore, I'm decided in was a sea monster.

You can't change my mind.


Anonymous said...

OK. That one got me. I just laughed for like 5 minutes...

And you said tits... Teehee.

Steve said...

Of course I said “tits!” I'll say it again too.

I don't feel like the rebel I probably should though. “Tits” used to be such a harsh and vulgar word, the kind I wouldn't even say in a dugout (and there's not many words a 11-year-old Steve wouldn't say in a baseball dugout).

“Boobs” on the other hand was a dugout apporpriate word. It was the word we guys used when we need to talk about knockers with each over. We would never dream about using the word when girls were present. We always planed to use “breasts” if we ever needed to talk about them with a lady in the room. This plan never worked out, because on the one time in my childhood when bozooms became a possible topic of conversation in mixed company I just got nervous, started breathing too fast and passed out.

This all changed as women started using “boobs.” At first, it was cool. It was like girls were coming down to our level. Soon though, it became common place. That was the word. It's gotten so bad, I've even heard moms use it in casual conversation. I'm pretty sure by the time I have kids, “boobs” will be the technical term found in the Health books.

With “boobs” plummeting into respectabilty, we had to look else where for words to use with the guys. The previously off limits “tits” seemed to be just about perfect. The same thing is happening again though. I'm starting to here “tits” on TV and movies more and more. Soon, “tits” is going to be perfectly execptable in all but the most polite of circumstances.

Mark my word. “Tits” are the “boobs” of the future.