Premptive Critic: When in Rome

When in Rome, you should do as the Romans.

When in a (Rome)mantic comedy, you should do as the idiots.

When in a (Rome)mantic comedy, main characters must be very attractive, have incredibly cool jobs and not smell like a combination of old meat and butt. Yet they still remain hopelessly single and clueless about how all the ugly schlubs with regular jobs and a slight rump odor manage to hook up all the time.

Let's be serious, this is Kristen Bell we're talking about, with the way she rocks that blue dress in the wedding scene in the trailer, I'm not buying the “I haven't found anyone yet” story.

Wait, I think I've done this Preemptive before. Several times.

Let's get back to the when in Rome part of things. Just are when you are in Rome there are certain things you should do (see The Coliseum, eat fresh gelato, get yelled at by an old woman), there are some things that you should not do.

And at number two on this list is don't go into the ancient fountain while wearing a blue dress you rock so well do dig around for the European equivalent of 37 cents.

“Don't go into the wishing fountain for the money. It's rude and dirty.”

Those are seriously the first words I remember my mom ever saying to me.

Wasn't this woman every four?

And yet through this act that was the worst breech of cultural courtesy since President Bush barfed on that Japanese dude, we get our plot.

That's right, despite being in a (Rome)mantic comedy, this movie has conflict that is not entirely based around two people simply misunderstanding each over and being too attractive to sit down and talk about it. No, violating the local wisdom of Western Society's oldest city will bring a crap storm of (supposed) hilarity that no last minute run through the airport can solve.

Apparently, to undo this kind of bad mojo, you have to drive a mini into an elevator with Danny Devito.

I preemptively love this movie.

I'm serious, blue dress.