I'm a lot more old and a lot deeper in debt

I’ll be the first to admit that I live in a fictional world of my own creating. I’m pretty sure if you admit that, you’re not crazy.

And can you blame me? It’s a great place. In here I’m a martial arts master, a world class lover, a charming conversationalist and just five or six push ups from being Mr. Universe.

I’m strong enough to arm wrestle a bear, brave enough to kick a dragon in the nuts and smart enough to do a rubix cube.

I’m surrounded by thick walls of denial and a moat filled with delusion.

You can’t hurt me here, nothing can.

Nothing can get me.

Nothing, except occasionally reality.

Yesterday I had the chance to go to my old stomping grounds, USU, and try to convince intelligent people to leave the ramen-for-breakfast, working-19-hours-a-night, covering-yourself-with-books-at-night-for-warmth life of a Masters/PHD student for world where you can eat what you want and afford blankets but do have to go to meetings and use the same toilet for five years.

It’s a harder sell than you might think.

My company send me to recruit from time to time and I always enjoy but this time it was a little different.

I was talking to all these fresh-faced, bright-eyed young people with their whole future in front of them and I realized something.

I’m friggin’ old.

I’m 31 next month. I’ve had plenty of time to get used to the idea of me being an old fart, and yet somehow, I was so busy in the inner world that I forgot to update my image in there. For some reason, in there I was a strapping young man with a full head of hair and a beard that would make an amish viking feel insecure about himself.

Outside, not so much.

But so what?  I’ve gained a few pounds in stomach and lost a few worth of hair. It happens to everyone. And in exchange for that I got all this world wisdom and cool stuff, like a futon and a mortgage.

Yeah, this isn’t really doing it for me.
So what can I do? Be one of those guys in denial about his age? Get a wallet chain, a V-neck T-shirt and some skinny jeans?

I’m just realized some of you probably pictured that in your minds.

I am so sorry.

I’m just going to stop now before I do any more damage.