[Classic Beat] Make the world a better place, watch the ninja turtles

People are always asking me why I don't take advantage of my position as a columnist to "actually do something" by spreading my political views through the paper.

I think I'm usually asked this by people I don't agree with, because they know having the guy who admits to still being scared of mummies make a firm statement on gun control would only hurt my party's position.

I try not to get political in my writing. I don't try to make any serious points about what I feel on issues of national importance. This is mainly because I don't have any points. I may have had a point once but it was about how I could fit 17 marshmallows in my mouth at one time. I'm not sure if that counts.

I try to keep these weekly jaunts through my geeky world as issue free as possible because about the only way to make people madder than throwing hardboiled eggs at their grandma is to say something that they don't agree with about one of the three "off-topics." They are of course politics, religion and who could win in a fight, Mohammed Ali or Bruce Lee.

I did decide, however, that I was doing to do something today to make a difference in world. Something small, yes, but I have great power, and therefore great responsibility.

That being said, I feel older. I just had a birthday last week so I am older. It's kinda nice to know that there's a reason for these things.

I still find myself looking forward to my birthday even though for years now it's been ultimately disappointing. Birthdays just haven't been the same since I stopped having dinosaur themed parties with trick candles and presents wrapped in Sunday funnies.

Things just haven't been the same since I've grown up. Some of the magic has just drained out of those things that I used to take such joy in.

For example, I remember Thudercats as a deep and poignant series with elaborate characterization, intense plots and an unequaled sense of drama. I watched in recently and it was nothing but poorly drawn people with pointy ears and snouts that didn't move in sync with their clichéd and poorly written words.
Fortunately not everything I like before I liked girls has ended up being a total heartbreak (as has most of the things I have since). I would like to suggest a little bit of VHS nostalgia for all you out there: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the movie

This movie will take you back to a time in your life with rubber foam was better than any computer generated images. A time when a movie could consist of both martial arts and plot, at the same time. When the theme music was rockinger and the popcorn was butteryer. We could also make up words back then.

Watching the movie again though, I found that it still held up very well, even against one of today's merits. The turtles are just as cool, as funny and still kick as much butt as any grotesque freak of nature can with actually hitting anyone with the cutting edge of their weapons.

Sure the movie was predicable. Sure it was a terrible stereotype of all things Asian. And yeah, it defies all known biological principals. We still loved it. They were ninjas. They were turtles. When you're 8, that's all that matters.

The turtles were a major part of my life, and chances are they were part of yours. Go rent their first movie. Enjoy it. Make yourself a little happier and that happiness will infect those around and the world make come to together for a change, even if only for as long as it takes to say "Cowabunga!"

Geek on.

Steve Shinney is a junior in computer science who also recommends a weekly dose of Cap'n Crunch. Comments can be sent to steveshinney@cc.usu.edu.