Why the Dark Side would have easier recruitment sessions

I've been thinking about Star Wars a lot recently. This isn't all that unusual considering I often think about Star Wars quite often. It's one of those worlds that I retreat to when I'd rather not be where I am at the time. As a child I learned that the real world sucks but in my imagination I can live in worlds that better meet my requirements for magic systems and orc populations. Star Wars is on of the many worlds in which hide the the mundaneness that is my life.

So anyway, as I was saying, I was thinking about Star Wars and I realized the true appeal of the Dark Side. It not about power, or money or not having to follow a bunch of stupid rules or any of that, its not even about being able to love. It's about the names.

Think about it. The Dark Side has way better titles. If you fight on the side of truth and right, you start out as a youngling, a youngling. In a universe full of bad names, that's gotta be the worse one. After that you become a padawan. Not as stupid as a youngling, but still hard to spell and not something people understand very well. Finally, after all this work, you get promoted to the rank of Knight and out of the ranks that suck. After a life of battles and training, you finally become a Jedi Master and can get some decent name cards printed up.

On the Dark Side however, as soon as you sign up, you're a Lord. No questions asked. That's a lot sweeter than a Knight or even a Master. Chicks dig titles of power, and what has more power than Lord? Nothing that's what. Follow is up with a cool name like Vader or Maul and there's nothing you can't do with the title of Lord.

“Hey Jimmy, wanna be a Jedi with me? If we train for twenty years we could even be Knights.”

“No thanks, I'm already a Lord.”


“The Dark Side.”


Yeah, I'm sure that's a pretty common conversation in the Star Wars universe.

Geek on.

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